Angels and Ninjas
by Kabbish13
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke are thrown into a whole other world by their sensei in an accident and need help going home. When angels and ninjas meet, can Sasuke and Naruto withstand the beauty of Stocking and Panty?  NarutoxPanty SasukexStocking
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Panty and Stocking. If I did, I'd be pretty g.

Reviews are nice. So be nice and review (lol or just read the story…)

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><p>There was a definite reason why Naruto and Sasuke hated their sensei.<p>

1. He read porn books. That's about as twisted and messed up as it gets. Seriously, how can one concentrate on their jutsus while their goddamn teacher is freaking giggling at a perverted part of a book?

2. He wears a mask and tries to act all badass.

3. He has more fangirls than Sasuke (well Naruto hates him for this reason...can't really say the same for Sasuke...).

4. He just sent them into a whole different universe.

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><p>"SON OF A BITCH!"<p>

"GAH!"

Naruto and Sasuke swore as they were sent plummeting down through the sky. Naruto was of course screaming his head off and waving his arms wildly while Sasuke was cussing up a storm and looking down with a scowl fitted on his face. All he wanted today was to go home, enjoy a cup of soothing lemon tea with his bacon and tomato sandwich and take a well earned nap. He was not expecting to fall from the sky to his inevitable death, with Naruto as a cursed contributor to his already shitty day.

"Christ...baka! Listen up and stop screaming like a girl!" Sasuke shouted over the pounding wind. _'Seriously, the baka is giving me a freaking headache...'_ Naruto stopped screaming to glare at him.

"I'm not screaming like a girl, teme! And what the hell do you want? Can't I die in peace?"

Sasuke inwardly rolled his eyes. _'No one can die in peace with you freaking screaming like that. '_ "I'm trying to save your life here! We don't have to die today! Maybe tomorrow. But not today!"

Naruto cocked his head to the side a bit, his body still spread out. "Why tomorrow?"

"Fuck! Never mind! Use your clones to safely reach the ground. I'll use my fire technique to fly to the ground." Without another word, Sasuke whispered his technique and fire shot out from his hands. Positioning his body in a crouch, he positioned his hands so that they were balled up and facing the sun and with a burst of speed, sped down to the ground. Naruto watched as he flew from his fire hands.

_'He said use the clones. '_ Naruto thought. "Kage Bunshin Jutsu!" _'How the hell is that gonna help me? ' _Suddenly, the sky was filled with clones of Naruto, all facing the ground, their backs facing the real one. Naruto was surprised when he landed safely on one particular clone. Then it clicked. He smirked. "Not bad Uchiha," he muttered. He jumped off of that clone, making it disappear with a poof.

Jumping from clone to clone, Naruto could see the ground coming up and with one last jump, made it safely and swiftly to the ground. Sasuke stood next to him, leaning on a pole.

"Haha! Not bad, teme! Thanks for the advice!" Sasuke merely glared at him and looked the other way.

"...Hn." Naruto rolled his eyes and looked around curiously.

"Now that we're not dead...where the hell are we?"

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><p>Panty was dreaming happily of certain male body parts entering her delicate female part. Drool travelled from her mouth to her pillow and her legs squeezed tight together to hide her morning arousal. She was half laying on her bed, half laying on the floor with her blanket sprawled somewhere near the corner of her room, most likely kicked off after an extremely erotic dream. Bottles of hot sauce littered her floor and clothes were tossed carelessly and shamelessly on the bare ground, even hanging on the door handle. Not one piece of clothing was seen in her closet. Every now and then, she'd kick and toss to the other side, moaning some unknown man's name out loud. Just as her dream was about to reach its climax...<p>

"Panty!" Stocking burst through the door, nearly tearing the door off its hinges and without further ado, poured water onto her sister's face. "Oi! Lazy ass whore! It's time to get up." She looked around at the pig stine that was her sister's bedroom. _'It looks like death in here...'_

Panty gagged on the unexpected wakeup call and glared through wet hair at her gothic sister. Her eyes narrowed into slits and her hands were clenched, wanting vengeance. Stocking merely shrugged and walked out the room.

"YOU DAMN FAT ASS! DON'T FUCKING LEAVE WITHOUT APOLOGIZING!" Angered, Panty leapt off her bed and through a mad sprint chased her sister down the stairs. Letting out a feral snarl, she lunged and tackled her sister into a headlock.

"Eh? I've got you now, you fucking bitch! What the fuck are you gonna do now?" Panty glared down, smirking. Stocking sighed from beneath the headlock and looked up at her sister with expressionless eyes.

"...Nothing. I don't know about you, but I'm just gonna wait until Garter pulls you away and slams you down onto a table." Panty lessened her hold, giving Stocking a puzzled look. She didn't notice the evil presence with an afro behind her.

"...What?" She said confusedly. At that moment Garter grasped her arm and yanked her away. Lifting her up, he brought her over his shoulder and with a roar brought her down onto a table.

"FUCK!" Panty gasped. She winced, her body lying on now the cracked remains of the table. She lifted her head to glare at both Garter and Stocking.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Stocking shrugged and began to munch on a chocolate bar. Garter glared back at her.

"Shut up you worthless bitch! We have shit that needs to be done! A ghost was spotted not to far from downtown! You need to exterminate that ghost immediately! It is our duty as the protectors of this city..." And so he ranted.

Panty sighed and walked over to sit on a big frilly pink couch. Kicking her feet up, she inspected her nails and wondered in her head who she was going to fuck today.

'_Hmmm...the post office guy seemed pretty cute. OH! And that hunky police officer. Not really a looker, but I'm sure he'll have a huge package! 'She_ grinned manically. Stocking took note of her sister's face, and scoffed. _'Probably thinking who she'll bang next. ' _

"...Am I clear?" Garterbelt finally finished. Both girls sighed and nodded their heads.

"...Sure."

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><p>Naruto and Sasuke browsed along the street, looking at the different shops in wonder. It felt so surreal. The buildings were oddly shaped (some looking suspiciously like perverted parts). The people were so retarded and sex craving. Both ninjas sweat dropped at their stupidity. <em>'How the hell are they supposed to help us in our quest to get back to Konoha?'<em> They both thought. Sasuke glared as a pack of girls eyed him shamelessly, their eyes X- raying him through his clothes. Naruto laughed at his discomfort, but couldn't help but feel a few eyes on him as well.

"Teme, do you think we'll get raped?" Naruto asked nervously.

"Probably." Sasuke answered.

They continued on until one girl was brave enough to give Sasuke a pinch on his rump. That was the last straw.

"For the **LOVE** of Kami!" He screamed angrily. Gritting his teeth, he dragged Naruto by the ear into a random clothing store. Naruto squeaked in surprise and ripped the bastard's hand away from his now throbbing ear.

"What the hell was that for?" Naruto demanded angrily. Sasuke gave him a heated glare.

"What do you think, dobe? We're going to change our appearance. I can't take it anymore. If one more girl undresses me with her eyes, I'm going to reincarnate my family and murder them like Itachi did!" Sasuke's eyes swam dangerously in frustration, turning from obsidian to glassy red. Naruto gulped.

"Alright, alright. I'll perform a henge." He positioned his hands. Sasuke stopped him, waving his hands in dismissal.

"That's unnecessary. You'll just use up your chakra. Here." Walking to the corner of the store, he returned with a bottle of gel. "Use this to contain your hair." Naruto snorted.

"Contain MY hair? Your hair looks like it's about to take flight." Sasuke growled and and threw the gel at his head. Direct hit.

"OW TEME! WHAT THE HELL?"

"Shut up! You're attracting attention. Put that damn gloop on and get some clothes from here. We're too noticeable in our ninja attire. We need to stay hidden in the shadows for now."

Naruto grumbled but browsed the store anyway. He looked through the many clothes disinterestedly until one particular hoodie caught his eye. It was orange with a golden fox running along the back of it. Naruto grinned and immediately bundled it up in his hands. Finally, he decided on some black cargo pants and orange sneakers. Going in the dressing room, he changed and put the gel in his hair. He frowned as he rubbed in the cold substance, his spiky blonde hair now groomed and greased on his head. His bangs were smoothed out and fell over his face, hiding his large blue eyes. Looking at his reflection, he sweat dropped seeing as he still would draw attention. He now looked like a super cool emo with blonde hair. He decided to hide his face a little by putting on the hood.

Shrugging his shoulders, he walked out of the dressing room and nearly fell backwards as a pair of huge square black glasses was chucked as his forehead. He picked it up and glared at said person who threw them.

"Sasuke, you are a cruel heartless bastard."

"Duly noted. Now put the damn glasses on." Sasuke looked at him with a bored expression. He wore a black cap with the symbol of a crow on it with a black and white stripped polo shirt and blue sneakers. His hair was not greased, but it was concealed within the also wore black glasses, but instead they were small and oval shaped. Overall, he was still pretty good looking while Naruto himself looked like a lost owl. _'Lucky bastard.'_ Naruto thought grudgingly.

Naruto huffed but complied. Looking between Sasuke and himself, he laughed.

"Heh, now we're two nerds walking around the city and creeping out all the girls."

Sasuke smirked. "Hn. Let's explore and see if there's anyone able to help us in our dilemma." They paid for their clothes and walked out, ready to find answers and explore the strange world.

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><p>Stocking glared hard through See Through's glass window. Every now and then her ears would twitch at the sound of moaning in the back and her nose would wrinkle in disgust at the smell of sex. Still, she drove on and pretended like nothing was going on. But soon, the back of the car was reaching its climax. Making the small purrs and moans in the open car turn into full out screaming.<p>

'Just count your blessing, Stocking.' She tried to calm herself. A soft sigh escaped her parted lips. 'One...two...three...four...'

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Stocking snapped. Eyes closed, she snapped her head around to tell off her sister.

"Panty! You goddamned whore! We're on a mission so stop fucking around! At least while I'm not in the goddamn fucking CAR!" Stocking yelled, pissed as hell. All she received was a load moan and skin still slapping against skin. Stocking blinked.

"..."

"OHHHHHHHHHHH YES!"

"..."

"FUUUUUUUCK YEA!"

"..."

"FUUUCK! ALMOST THEEERE!"

**ERRRRRGGGH!** The car turned sharply to the side throwing the man on top of Panty out the window nd into the streets. Panty stared at where her man used to be and then looked at her sister. Her eyes were still glassy and dull from the experience in the back of the car. Realization crept into her eyes when she noticed the steering wheel at an akward angle and her sister looking at her with unconcealed anger.

"YOU BITCH! I wasn't done yet!" Panty groaned. _'GREAT. FUCKING GREAT! NOW I CAN'T ADD HIM AS MY 991st MAN! FUCKING HELL!'_

Stocking glared, her eyes shining with fury. "Baka! There are plenty of other men to fuck! But now is not the time! We need to focus on the ghost problem. Or did you forget, being the dumb blonde you are?" Panty huffed, crossing her arms.

"Ghost, schmost. I'm a busy girl, Stocking. Why can't you do it yourself for once?" Panty whined. Stocking snorted.

"I ALWAYS do the damn job on my own. You barely do anything."

Panty blinked. "Well then there you fucking go. I'm barely any help, so I might as well not help at all." She laid down and got herself comfortable for a nap. Before she could doze off, however, Chuck was miserably thrown at her face. She screamed.

"What the hell!"

"No sleeping on the job! I'm not collecting ghosts by myself anymore, Panty. Do your fucking job for once and we'll get it over with and you can fuck every guy in the universe for all I care." Stocking turned back to the steering wheel to park See Through.

Panty sighed dreamily at the chance of having sex with every man known to God. Stocking sighed and shook her head.

"There is something very wrong with you."

They stopped in front of a small cafe. The front window displayed an arrangement of many cakes and pies, beautifully decored and tempting to the naked eye. Stocking drooled at the sight. Slowly getting out of the car, she walked in a deathlike trance to the entrance, hands outstreched to engulf the many sweets in her wake. Panty glared at her sister's back and thought to herself that payback was a bitch. _'And I'm going to be its pimp.'_ She thought wickedly. Cackling evilly, she grabbed the back of Stocking's dress and pulled her away.

"Oi! Get back here you fucking fat ass. No fucking around with your goddamn sweets while I'M around." Panty grinned. "You get ONE thing and then we get back to fucking business. Kapeesh?" Stocking pouted but nodded her head anyway. She walked slowly to the cafe with her evil sister skipping behind her and making plans to have sex with mail mans, popular people, and make fun of nerds. Both sisters did not notice the peculiar wedding cake that narrowed its black eyes at them, mouth turned downwards into a predatory scowl.

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><p>"...Why did you drag me here dobe?" Sasuke gave an irritated groan as the waitress brought him some hot cocoa and vanilla ice cream. They were supposed to be exploring the towns, finding out details of their whereabouts. <em>'So how the hell did we manage to get here?'<em> Sasuke drank his hot cocoa, grimacing at the unnecessary sweet taste and its fierce hotness. He looked up to watch his teammate devour chocolate, pudding, and cake all in one sitting. His grimace turned even more sour, eying his teammate in disgust. Naruto looked up to glare at his duck butt friend.

"What the hell do you think? I'm hungry as a bastard." He continued his chowing down. Sasuke glared angrily at his sweet treat and pushed his plate away.

"Idiot. I hate sweets." Naruto looked back up at him and shrugged.

"Well that's too damn bad."

Sasuke let out another groan and finally got up from his seat. "I'm leaving," he said. "I'm going to find a pasta place or something." He headed for the door. Naruto waved at him.

"Tell me if you a find a place that sells miso ramen!" Sasuke growled. That would be the LAST thing he would try to do. _'I hope that dobe didn't forget what we need to do.'_ Turning back around, he walked into a gothic girl. On contact, both jumped away quickly from one another. They glared at each other with clear dislike.

_'The hell?'_ Sasuke thought. The girl he ran into had long blue and purple hair and wore a black dress. She glared at him with icy blue eyes that seemed to pierce into his soul. He had refused to look away and kept her gaze.

"Watch where you're going, bastard." She shoved him to the side. Sasuke stared at her, shocked.

_'Who the hell does she think she is?'_ He thought angrily. He gave her a mock bow and muttered, "Excuse me your royal bitchiness. A feeble peasant such as myself should not stand in your way." He smirked.

Stocking shrugged. "Glad we agree on something." Sasuke's eye twitched.

_'Damn woman.'_

_"_Oh? So you agree that you're an emo bitch?" Sasuke glared harder at her, daring her to answer. Guess she didn't take the hint.

_"_Takes one to know one." She shrugged. "For one who judges about another being a bitch, you're attitude is pretty damn crappy. So keep stupid comments like that to yourself, your royal bitchiness. See ya, princess." She continued her way to the counter. Sasuke could only stand there, his mouth hanging wide open. His open amazement went interrupted as a rude blonde practically shoved him to the ground, glaring at the back of his head like she'd want nothing better than to tear it off._  
><em>

"Oi! Emo boy! Get the hell out of my way before I shoot your balls off." Panty gave him a disinterested look._ 'Aw, that would be a shame though. A man without his balls.'_ She mused. _'Plus, he's kind of a cutie, but no one should back sass my sister like that...unless it's me.'_ Sasuke straightened up and without paying attention to the other woman, he stomped out and slammed the door behind him. He could hear Naruto snickering as he exited.

_'I hate my life.'_

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><p>Naruto burst out laughing when Sasuke left.<p>

_'Serves the bastard right._' He was about to continue on his eating rampage when something...or really someone caught his eye. His blue eyes widened beneath his now shaggy bangs and the spoon he had been holding fell to the ground. _'An angel...'_ He thought dreamily in his mind. _'Surely she had to be an angel.'_ A girl around his age leaned next to the door, looking up at the ceiling. She had golden blonde hair and wore a revealing red dress. Her ocean colored eyes gazed in interest at the ceiling, marking the different patterns and shapes. Naruto could feel his heart racing. He put a hand on his chest to try and stop the beating.

"She's so beautiful..." He breathed out.

"And she's also a slut so you should just give up." Someone said from behind him. Naruto yelped and jumped out of his seat. He pointed at the blue haired goth who decided to sit next to him. She gazed at him boredly, already having heard those comments about her sister before. Guys were always saying things like that to her, only to end up in bed with Panty and leave the next morning. _'Not that Panty minds.'_ Stocking whisked away. _'But sometimes, I admit I get a little jealous. She gets all the attention, while I'm left with very few fans. I guess no one's interested in someone who wants a steady and non slutty relationship.'_

"GAH! W-who the hell are you?" Naruto shouted. Here he is, daydreaming to himself and the weird girl who outspoke Sasuke just randomly comes to sit next to him. The goth gave him an irritated glare and bit into her large strawberry cupcake.

"Me. Oh nobody important. I just so happen to be that girl's sister." She waved her hand in dismissal. Inwardly, she smirked, awaiting the reaction from the blonde. He did not dissapoint. Naruto's eyes bulged out and his jaw slacked, as if not believing if those two were really related.. He grinned.

"REALLY? Cool! You guys must be pretty close then! What's her name? What are her likes and dislikes? Does she go to school? Does she have a boyfriend? Do you think she could like a guy like me? " His grin got wider as he talked about Panty with excitement. Stocking sighed, her jealousy taking its toll.

"...Nice to meet you too."

Naruto flushed with embarrassment._ 'Whoops! I don't want to seem like some ass whole who only cares about pretty girls. Although this girl is kinda cute.'_ and He smiled at her sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I'm Naruto Uzumaki." He held out his hand. She looked at his hand and then back up at his smiling face, but did not take it. Instead, she studied his cheek marks._ 'Why does he have whisker marks on his cheek? Is he training to become an animal or something?'_

"I'm Stocking." Naruto cocked his head and gave her a confused look.

"Stalking who?" BAM! Stocking hit him on the head. "Baka! I meant my name is Stocking!" She huffed. Naruto rubbed his head and gave her a weak smile.

"Sorry..."

Stocking took another bite from her strawberry cupcake. "Whatever. And to answer your questions..." Naruto leaned in closely, feet fidgeting for an answer. "...My answer is to go ask her." Naruto's head bunked on the table. Hard. He winced at the oncoming headache.

"WHAT? I CAN'T DO THAT!"He rubbed his head. "Besides, there's no way I'd get to the guts to talk to someone so gorgeous..." He sighed. "Back where I came from, I was constantly rejected by this really pretty girl and over time it hurt so much, I just stopped trying overall." He lowered his head.

Stocking cocked an eyebrow. _'That sucks. The guy's kind of annoying, but the girl should have given him a chance. And what place is he talking about? He doesn't come from here?'_ "Yeah well, love's tough." She inwardly face palmed herself. She was supposed to cheer the guy up, not bring him down. To her surprise, Naruto gave her an appreciative laugh.

"Yup. That's love for ya." He grinned happily. Stocking couldn't help but smile with him. _'His smile's pretty contagious. This guy isn't half bad at all.'_

"Neh? The what, where, why, and what position?" Naruto cried out in surprise at the beautiful voice that belonged to Panty and Stocking sighed in irritation. Panty stood over them, cocking an eyebrow with hands on her hips. Her presence practically radiated purity, but in secret, her presence screamed "Naughty. Beware." Naruto's face heated up while staring at her, struggling to find words.

"Um...er...well...you see..." He stuttered. Panty gave him a harsh glare and flipped her hair at him._ 'Why the hell is Stocking hanging out with a complete doofus? I mean look his appearance. Boring. Definitely not worth a fuck.'_ "I'm not talking to you, dork. I don't even know who the fuck you are. Stocks, did you get the info?" She leaned on one of the chairs, her cleavage in clear view of Naruto's eyes. He blushed and looked away shyly.

_'It's just as well. She treats me the same as Sakura.'_ Naruto sighed inwardly. Stocking caught his slightly hurt expression and wondered what caused it. Surely her words would not have affected him. It was simply Panty being Panty, no harm done. She shrugged.

"Don't ever call me that...and yes, I have the info. A ghost was spotted near this cafe. Someone said it took the form of a pastry, but they're not sure. So we'll stick around until something glorious happens." Panty groaned at the news. Naruto looked between them, not knowing what was going on._ 'Ghost that turns into a pastry? What?'_

"DAMMIT! What about all the guys you promised I could fuck?" Panty cried out in frustration.

Stocking shrugged. "Guess you'll have to wait." Naruto, who had been listening, gave a small sigh of dejection. _'So her sister wasn't kidding...she really is a...'_

_'No.'_ His eyes raised in determination. _'I refuse to call her that word. I can't judge her actions. Her business is her business. But maybe...'_ His eyes brightened hopefully as he gazed up at her.

_'She could possibly be interested someone like me? Even if we only end up being friends...' _He grinned._ ' As long as I get to be by her side.'  
><em>

With his decision made, he stood up to greet her. Shooting her his foxy grin, he held out his hand. "Hey. I don't think we've introduced properly. I'm Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage." He winked at her, even though she couldn't see his eyes. "What's your name?" _'Hell yeah, Mister Suave.'_

Panty scoffed at his outstretched hand and swatted it away. She leaned forward to his face, making him gasp and lean backwards a little. Smiling sweetly, she breathed in his ear, "Fuck off. I don't bang dorks." Naruto's smile fell. He gazed at her confusedly.

"...Um...bang?"

"Yeah. You know, fuck, ride, screw, pound, hook up, slam. I don't do any of that with dorks." She leaned back and grinned wickedly at his crimson blush and flicked his glasses. He pouted and fixed his glasses. Stocking finished the last of her strawberry cupcake and snorted at the two of them._ 'Subtle flirting. How lame.'_

Panty leaned on a chair, taking out some spicy chips and munching on them. "Is that what you wanted, dork boy?" Naruto became flustered and waved his arms around.

"U-um n-n-no! I didn't m-mean that. I was just...um..." He looked to Stocking begging for help. Stocking smirked at his expression and decided to cave in.

"Just give him your fucking name."

Panty crossed her arms. "It's Panty." Naruto relaxed a bit, relieved that her teasing was over and he finally got her name. An odd name, he admits, but a name that seemed to roll off his tongue perfectly. He gave her a warm smile.

"Panty..."

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><p>So bored. =-= So yup I'm back everyone. My other stories I am currently experiencing writer's block so I'm going with this. My first M rated fic XD.<p>

Yeah I just got into this show. Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt. I found the show to be highly amusing and since it didn't have a lot of fanfics, I decided to write this.

Though for some reason I just had to add in Naruto characters...oh well :/

Enjoy it. And yeah lol I better work on those other fics. ^^'''''


	2. Chapter 2

Enjoy. And yeah...for now I'm keeping the pairing. ^^'''' But I'll take them into consideration. Especially the demon sisters. XD Those two crack me up and will definitely be in the story.

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><p>Sasuke munched on his take out spaghetti and meatballs, deep in thought. So far all he had found out today was that Naruto and him were stuck in some random city called Daten City. That hardly helped their situation. He had no idea where the hell Daten City was even located. <em>'Hn. I hope it's not too far from home...'<em>

Sasuke walked down the streets, pondering over the rude goth who had the nerve to humiliate him. On the outside he was extremely irritated and wanted to give the little spazz a piece of his mind. On the inside, however, he was intrigued. All the girls back in Konoha used to swoon over his appearance, confessing silly bouts of love and stalking him like starved dogs. This girl did not treat him the same way, instead looking at him as if he was something stuck to her shoe. _'Annoying,'_ he grumbled. _'But intriguing all the same.'_ He grunted and dug back into his food.

Finally, he spotted the small cafe on the corner. He groaned as the aroma of sweets entered his nose and fuzzed up his brain waves. _'Nauseating.'_ He thought, scowling. _'Who would eat this shit?'_

He walked up to the display case to glare at all the sickening treats when he suddenly stepped back, eyes wide in shock.

"The hell?" He whispered. "Did that cake...growl out me?" Inside the display case was a dripping wedding cake, oozing with icing and assorted toppings. He blinked a few times, still not believing its piercing black eyes that glowered at him or it angry red mouth that fizzed with agitation. _'Am I really seeing what I think I'm seeing?'_

He leaned in closer to observe the angry pastry. SNARL. His head whipped back up. 'What the hell?' He scowled and shook his head. _'I must be out of my mind. I knew drinking that hot cocoa was a bad idea.' _

He sighed and pulled himself up, looking around at the cupcake shaped tables. He walked over to sit at a table and finish his meal. While he was eating, he failed to notice the slithering glob of cake inching closer and closer to him, all the while becoming bigger and bigger. His ninja reflexes kicked in when something snarled behind him. With lightning speed, he shot up from his seat and quickly dodged the oncoming arm about to crush his skull.

BANG! An arm covered in icing slammed onto his table, sending his pasta spiraling to the ground. He looked at his fallen food in surprise. Slowly, he turned around to look at the gooey monster.

"You just threw my breakfast..." He whispered, letting his head look down and bangs fall over his eyes. The cake snickered and with a roar, shot out to punch him in the face. Sasuke easily caught it with a sickening sloosh, now staring at the filthy demon with angry red eyes.

"Prepare to die." He attempted to form his Chidori but was surprised when it fell short, whisking away without a sound. _'What the hell?' _He attempted another technique, only to have that jutsu fall short on him also. With a grunt of annoyance he decided his fist was enough and threw a punch at the cake's stomach. _'Direct hit.'_ He smirked. The cake cried out in mock pain, a wicked smile making its way up on its face.

Sasuke's eyes widened as his fist went through the stomach, sending icing all over the floor. The cake's stomach circled around his fist, trapping it. Sasuke sighed.

"Shit." The cake still smiled. Suddenly, it grew larger and larger until it twice the size of Sasuke himself. Sasuke sighed.

"Double shit."

* * *

><p>Naruto felt his heart quicken at the sight of the incredibly hot Panty sitting next to him. Okay, so technically not next to him. She was pretty far over (how she completed that challenge he'll never know, as she is smack dab next to the wall). Meanwhile, Panty was fixing her nails and still wondering who she would fuck today. <em>'I think I want someone cute today.'<em> She mused. _'And muscular.'_

Stocking was on her 15th cupcake, letting the sweet goodness cloud her senses. She moaned softly at the magnificent taste. Unable to take the silence anymore, Panty whipped her head around to glare at Naruto who surprisingly had been looking at her at the exact time. He blushed and tried to look away quickly, pouting all the same.

"Oi. Dork boy. Where the hell you come from anyway?" Panty folded her hands behind her head and looked at him with a slightly bored expression.

He smiled happily at her. "Oh! I'm from—"

"Neh. Never mind. I don't really give a shit." She waved her hand at him. He frowned slightly.

"What's your name again?" He tried to speak but was interrupted again.

"Oh I know!" She leaned in closer to him and jabbed his glasses. "It's dork boy. " Naruto's frown deepened. Stocking looked up from her cupcake.

"Keep it down Panty. I'm focusing on my treat here." Panty ignored her.

"Hmm…I wonder how big your dick is, dork boy." Naruto's blush turned a dark cherry. "Maybe it's as big and thick as a tree trunk," she mused to herself. She gave him a wicked grin. "Or is it so small I might need a telescope. Probably the latter. Neh? So how big is it dork boy?" She laughed.

_'Geez I get she doesn't like me, but could she at least say my freaking name?'_ He glared, fed up with her attitude.

"Naruto." Her laughing stopped.

Panty raised an eyebrow. "Where the fuck is that?"

"Nowhere. That's my name, so don't forget it." Naruto clenched his teeth. "Enough with the fucking dork boy shit. It's Naruto fucking Uzumaki."

_'I hate it when people ignore me like that!'_

Panty narrowed her eyes. "Dork boy."

"Naruto."

"Dork boy."

"Naruto!"

"Dork boy!"

"NARUTO!"

"DORK BOY!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Stocking screamed. _'God. These two together are fucking irritating._' Panty and Naruto glared at each other, both out of their seats and now looking at each with clear dislike.

_'Ugh forget this. She's beautiful as hell but she has the personality of a stuck up tiger.'_ Naruto growled.

_'I'mma clock this fucker to the ground with my fucking gun.'_ Panty growled back. Her hand twitched to retrieve her panties. Electricity shot out of both their eyes. Stocking looked between the two and bunked her head.

_'Idiots.'_

They were all completely oblivious to the ruckus outside...

That is until Sasuke broke through the window.

CRASH! Panty stopped her glaring contest and rolled away from the oncoming person. Naruto kicked off the table in front of him to land safely next to the owner, who looked at the commotion with saucer eyes. Poor Stocking was slowed down by all the sweets she ate. And got the brunt of the force.

"Ooof!"

"Fuck!" Stocking gasped as he landed on her, knocking the wind out of both of them.

Sasuke gagged as her bubblegum scented hair entered his mouth and Stocking wrinkled her nose at his cologne. They tumbled to the ground in a tangle of limbs, accidently touching rather private parts. Sasuke's ears turned red when he felt a very soft pair of balloons between his hands and an unknown pressure between his legs. Stocking quickly removed her hand from his male region, blushing a bit, and gasped sharply when his trespassing hands unintentionally squeezed her breasts. She cried out in anger and embarrassment and slapped him in the face.

"HENTAI!"

"Fangirl!"

Their eyes narrowed, remember each other's voice. Slowly, they looked in each other's eyes.

"You," they said at the same time, gritting their teeth. Sasuke growled low in his throat and ripped himself away, instead finding interest in a nearby wall. Stocking did the same and looked the other way, her head held up high.

"My, my Stocking. I didn't know you accepted sexual harassment," Panty smirked. Stocking glowered. Naruto snickered behind his hand. Shaking his head, he headed over to his teammate with his serious face on.

"What happened?" He asked curiously. _'Usually it takes a lot to bring Sasuke down.'_

"Something's wrong here, Naruto," Sasuke explained. "I was just attacked by a crazed pastry." Panty and Stocking's heads quickly turned.

"Did you just say a crazy pastry?" Stocking repeated. Sasuke glared in irritation. He pointed to his shirt, covered in the sticky white substance called icing.

"Hn."

Both girls dashed out of the shop. Naruto went to follow them, but was stopped by Sasuke.

"Wha-"

"Dobe. Don't get cocky. There's something strange about this place." Sasuke warned. "I don't know what's going on, but for some reason during my fight, I couldn't use my jutsu against that monster." Naruto frowned, not paying attention to his friend's words but instead looking at his neck.

"Sasuke."

"What?"

"You have a jutsu seal placed on you." Sasuke's eyes wandered over to Naruto's neck. _'What the hell? How did this happen?'_

"Hn. And I'm not the only one." He pointed to the blue seal around Naruto's neck, shaped in the form of a hawk.

* * *

><p>Somewhere far away, two people were watching the interaction.<p>

"...How is everything, boss?" The first one said. He watched the screen carefully and scrutinizing, taking in every detail.

The second person smirked, not paying attention to the humongous screen. "Everything is going according to plan."

* * *

><p>Stocking ran out the door to face the monster. Panty was soon beside her, her eyes shining with dangerous determination. The cake stopped in its pillaging footsteps and turned to face his new opponents.<p>

He smirked at the sight of them. _'Women.'_ He thought to himself. _'The lot of them disgusts me. This shouldn't be a problem laying a hand on these bitches.'_

"This is Heaven's best, eh? They sent me two little fragile angels, one a whore and the other more likely to commit suicide. Oh the fun this will be." He said sarcastically. Both girls tsked.

Naruto and Sasuke watched on, shocked by the cake's words. _'Those two are angels?'_

Naruto snorted. _'Heh. I can understand Stocking but Panty's more of a demonist from Hell.'_

Sasuke wondered the same lines._ 'That blue haired goth couldn't be angelic enough to save her life.'_

"So you're the ghost everyone is talking about." Stocking said. "You're the one terrorizing the couples and married people. We'll have to put a stop to that."

The ghost laughed. "You can try, little angel fuckers!" Panty snapped.

"Oi! Fucking cake!" Panty called out. "I don't know who the fuck you are, but you will not talk shit about me and Stocking. You're in for it now, shit face! And it only makes revenge sweeter, since I fucking hate cake." She smirked. The cake monster got ready to battle, scowling_. 'I have a goal to fulfill and they are not going to stand in my way.'_

"Bring it on!" He exclaimed. Stocking and Panty shared a look and then nodded.

"Alright," they said in unison. Without further words, Panty and Stocking began their transformation. Their normal clothing turned into bright and colorful angel clothing. Wings appeared behind their backs, glowing a bright blue. They began to do a little tease dance, moving their bodies suggestively against a random dance pole that had appeared. Naruto blushed heavily at the sight, a nosebleed sure to come on.

_'Holy shit, that's freaking erotic as _hell!' He thought to himself_. 'Man, if that pervy Sage saw this, he'd freak!'_

Sasuke blinked at the sight of the girls, but shook his head fiercely to fight the blush coming on his face. _'Damn women.'_

"O Wicked spirit born of a lost soul in limbo," both girls stated in perfect sync. "Receive judgment from the garb of the Holy Virgin; cleansed of worldly impurities; return to Heaven and Earth."

Panty slowly slipped out of her panties and Stocking took off her stockings.

"REPENT!"

Suddenly, their undergarments turned into weapons. Panty held two bright blue guns and aimed them expertly at the cake. Stocking held up two katanas, pointing them at the ground.

_'WHAT THE HELL?'_ Both ninjas thought. Naruto felt shivers go up his spine at the pure awesomeness of it all and Sasuke couldn't help but let his jaw fall open.

The cake roared and shot off towards them, its arm raised. Panty quickly dodged its oncoming attack and back flipped, her gun pointing directly at the cake's head. She shot, smirking as the cake cried out in pain and clutched its head. "Fucker. Don't mess with messengers of God." The cake's head blew up. The ghost yelled in anger and lashed out at the blonde. Stocking cut off one of its gooey fingers and cut and slashed her way up its body. With a final slash, she cut his top body in half. It separated into cake slices. Panty and Stocking grinned at each other.

"A job well done." Sasuke knew better. _'They can't just expect to win like that! This thing...'_

"OI!" He yelled. "Watch ou-" **SWOOSH!** A blast of wind knocked them all backwards. The cake gave a powerful roar of rage and grew as tall as the cafe. It glowered down at them all in mischief. "You think an attack like that can defeat me? Don't." He reared up. "Make. Me." His hands stretched up to the sky. "LAUGH!" He slammed his hand to the ground, blasting them all with chalk white energy. Panty and Stocking gasped as they were sent flying and hit their backs on a wall. Naruto and Sasuke quickly fought off the force and moved to the other side of the cake monster.

Naruto swore. "What the hell! I thought they had him!"

"Hn. They can't beat him like that. With every hit, he'll just keep regenerating. We have to try a different approach to stop him." Naruto nodded.

"Like what?"

"...I didn't really get that far. Maybe we can start with finding out what it is..."

Naruto glared. "Teme. And who will be finding out that info."

Sasuke scowled. "Lazy ass dobe."

"Duck's ass."

"I do all the fucking work."

"The hell you do! Who brought your ass back?"

_Flashback_

_Naruto held up a tired and battered Sasuke by the arms. The forest around them was on fire and numerous craters littered the ground. Sasuke could only stare at him._

_"How the fuck did you combine Kyuubi's power with Sage mode?"_

_Naruto snorted. "Bitch. I'm bringing sexy back. Let's go home." Sasuke sighed, leaning on his teammate and closest friend._

_"...Hn."_

Sasuke started, "That doesn't co-"

"Who saved you from becoming Orochimaru's dildo?"

_Flashback_

_"Sasuke, I just love the vibrations in your body." Naruto turned a sickly pale after hearing those words in his hiding place._

_Orochimaru was looking at Sasuke's throat, watching his Adam's apple bob up and down as he ate his food. He sighed jealously,_

_"I wish my throat could do that," He whispered to himself. Sasuke gave him a glare._

_"Stop saying weird things and let me eat this damned thing without you breathing down my neck." Naruto paled even more at those words and fainted._

Sasuke sweat dropped. "Those rumors are actually-"

"WHO THE FUCK HAD TO ENDURE JIRAIYA'S PORN FILM FESTIVALS AND HIS CONSTANT "GIRL FIGHTING" IN THE UPSTAIRS BEDROOM JUST TO GET STRONGER TO RESCUE YOU?"

"..."

"..."

"...I saved you from Anko's sex education back in the academy days by saying you were absent."

* * *

><p><em>'Fucking hell.'<em> Naruto's shoulders slumped as he made his way over to the hurting duo_. 'Those were the worst days of my life.'_

"Yo," he said with a friendly gesture. Both girls glared up at the smiling and non-hurting blonde dork.

"Fuck off," they both said. "You're no help us at all." He raised his hand in surrender.

"Hey, I'm helping now. What the hell are you guys fighting anyway?"

Stocking answered. "That possessed cake is what we call a ghost. Ghosts are evil spirits that used to be humans but turned bad and instead wreck havoc in this city and corrupt the world with darkness." Naruto cocked his head. "City? What city is this?"

Panty laughed at his stupidity. "Baka! Look above your head." Naruto looked up.

DANTEN CITY!

WELCOME TO DANTEN CITY!

THE WOMEN ARE HOTTER IN DANTEN CITY!

GET ALL YOU WANT IN DANTEN CITY!

DANTEN CITY! DANTEN CITY!

Naruto grinned sheepishly at the numerous billboards that were spread all along the streets.

"Uhhh...oops..." Panty rolled her eyes and flexed her shoulders, fixing her eyes on the rampaging monster behind Naruto.

"Damn." She sighed. "This job was a lot more trouble than I had thought." She waved her arm at Stocking. "Meh. You can defeat this monster yourself." She got up and walked over to their slightly crushed car. _'Nap time.'_ She kicked the blubbering green dog, Chuck, out her way and lay down for her nap.

Stocking stared at her before comprehending her words.

"What?" She stomped over to the car and flung its doors open. Panty was already snoozing in the back. Raising her foot up, she slammed it into Panty's stomach.

"You lazy ass! Come help me with this ghost, dammit!" She repeatedly stomped on her, taking pleasure in her sister's bouts of anger and pain. Panty opened one eye.

"FUCK OFF YOU GOTHIC BITCH!"

"Wake up you insufferable couch potato!"

"YIELD YOU FUCKING DARK HAIRED FIEND!"

"Die you retard!"

They continued their arguing, leaving a slightly surprised evil cake very confused. He stared at the two before slamming his hands down.

"WOMEN! DON'T FUCKING PRETEND I DON'T EXIST! I HAVE FEELINGS YOU KNOW!" Silence. _'Dammit, dammit, dammit!'_

"...FUCK! THAT'S WHY I HATE BITCHES LIKE YOU!" The cake's icing was melting off, exposing a black and menacing form. It bared its fangs at them before screaming out,"I HATE WOMEN!" It exploded, becoming ten times bigger and as tall as the buildings surrounding them. Sasuke grimaced as the force of the transformation forced him backwards into the cafe.

Panty and Stocking seized their bickering to get back to business.

"You fucking cake. You weren't supposed to get bigger! That's not fair." Panty whined. She jumped out the car and aimed her guns, scowling at the hideous creature. _'This guy seriously fucked up my day.'_

"We'll have to punish you for that." Stocking pulled out her blades. They attacked.

Panty shot at different parts of its body in cold fury, _'Dammit, die already!'_ Stocking hiked her way up and slashed her blades along its body, cutting it to pieces. _'Why does it keep regenerating?'_

All the while, the monster only got bigger and bigger.

"YES! YES! FEED ME YOUR FRUSTRATION! FEED ME YOUR ANGER! FEED ME YOUR HATE! I NEED IT! I CHERISH IT! GIVE IT TO ME!"

Naruto watched the fight go on from atop a building, calculating the situation. _'Fighting is obviously not helping our situation, so...'_

"PANTY! STOCKING!" He jumped next to them. Both angels were panting and looking up tiredly at the humongous skyscraper before them. The black figure towered over them.

"What?" The said irritably, looking over their shoulders. He gave them his foxy grin and a thumbs up.

"Leave it to me."

"THE HELL I AM!" Panty shouted. "THIS FUCKER IS MINE!" She reloaded her gun. Naruto put a hand on her gun.

"OI! DON'T GET IN MY-"

"You'll get hurt if you continue." He gave her a reproachful look. "I can't let that happen. Maybe you don't like me all that much..."

He turned away from both sisters. "But I definitely will protect the people I consider my friends. I'll protect both of you." He smiled warmly at them. "I will not let my comrades fall."

Panty stood there, shocked by his words. Stocking merely nodded and sheathed her sword. _'I want to see how this goes.'_

"Go on then." Panty looked at her sister in confusion and instantly voiced her thoughts.

"Neh? No, no, no! You can't do this on your own! I don't give a fuck if you die, but you'll probably anger this thing even more and he'll be even harder to beat!

And I'll be damned if I leave this thing to a fucking-" Naruto speed off, sprinting after the monster at lightning speed. Panty and Stocking stared after him complete amazement.

"...Civilian."

* * *

><p>Naruto ran after the monster, watching it destroy various buildings. People screamed from afar and some were knocked over by its hanging arms. He ran faster.<p>

"Oi. Dobe." Naruto looked to his right to see Sasuke running next to him.

"...You know what you're doing right?" Naruto smirked.

"Nope. Just testing a theory and seeing how it goes," he said happily. Sasuke rolled his eyes. "And you can stay here, teme, and enjoy the show." Sasuke turned his head to glare at the blonde.

"No. I'll fight alongside you. You can't beat this thing by yourself without your jutsus." Naruto slowed down for a moment.

"...I'm not trying to defeat him." Sasuke stopped completely. "I'm trying to negotiate."

Naruto sped up towards the monster. Sasuke stared after his friend before shaking his head. _'Hn. Good luck, idiot.'_

Naruto stopped right in front of the ghost. The cake ghost stopped its roaring to look down upon him. Naruto walked over, hands stuffed in hoodie pocket. Looking to his left, he noticed words imprinted in the icing. He quickly memorized them and nodded to the monster in greeting.

"Hey."

The ghost scowled and brought itself down to his level. 'A new person testing my power?' He let loose a hiss. _'He looks exactly like...him.'_

"Who the hell are you?" Naruto smiled, not intimidated in the least.

"The next future Hokage." The cake sweat dropped at his answer.

"What the fuck is that?"

"Neh. Nevermind. You wouldn't understand." Naruto waved his hand in dismissal. Suddenly, his friendly demeanor was gone.

"I don't like the way you're treating my friends over there." The cake snarled and instantly got in battle position.

"So? What the hell are you going to do about it?" To his surprise, Naruto only shrugged and sat down on the ground in Indian position.

"Nothing. I'm just curious why you seem to hate them so much."

The ghost laughed bitterly at this. "Why shouldn't I hate them? If they manage to defeat me, they'll send me to Heaven. Get rid of me. I can't let that happen."

Naruto cocked his head, confused. "Why not? Heaven seems a whole lot more promising than torturing innocent souls."

"You don't understand. I need to stay here. I need to do something first. When it is done, only then can I release my spirit and ascend to Heaven."

"And that something being...?" Naruto asked.

The ghost shook his head. "No. You wouldn't understand. No one would..." His eyes hardened in anger. "Especially that no good undeserving bitch."

Naruto bristled at his words. "Hey! That's no way to talk to Panty and Stocking!"

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THOSE LITTLE BITCHES OVER THERE!" The ghost roared. Naruto observed him for a while, before understanding shone in his eyes.

_'Wedding cake...anger...hurt...betrayal...'_

"She left you..." He whispered. The ghost froze at his words, disbelief crawling up his spine. He shuddered as the memories of his fiancé resurfaced.

"Worse. She left me...for another guy..." He finished. "It was the week before our wedding. We were supposed to pick out the cake. She told me to go and pick whatever I'd like, so I went ahead. I wasn't sure she'd like the cake, so I asked the baker to let me take the cake home. He was really nice about it." Tears began to appear in his eyes. "That slut was in bed with another man. I let the wedding cake fall to my feet and rushed out the house. I accidently tripped while running and fell in the streets where I was run over by a truck." His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I can't leave...not until that scumbag who stole my future wife pays for what he's done. And the only way to do that is to kill him. But first, I want to torture every soul in love to teach them the hardships of life."

Naruto nodded. "I understand now." The ghost snapped.

"HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GO THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THAT? YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND A FUCKING THING! SHE LEFT ME FOR THAT NO GOOD BLONDE HAIRED FUCKER! WE WERE GOING TO BE MARRIED! MARRIED! AND THAT BITCH BROKE MY HEART! Don't tell me you understand!" Naruto looked into the ghost's eyes.

"Maybe our stories aren't as similar, but I understand the feeling you feel right now all too well. Pain." He narrowed his eyes in determination, sweeping his long bangs to the side to show his face. "I've been through a lot during my life. Seen things that would traumatize you for life. Done things I'm not proud of and wish every day I could take it back. I also know what it's like to be rejected by someone you love dearly. Trust me. I know how you feel."

The ghost grunted irritably. "So we've experienced pain. So what? It doesn't change anything."

Naruto sighed and let the bangs fall over his face again. "It does. You need to learn to let your pain go."

The ghost laughed at that statement. "Sure. You make it sound so easy. Pray tell how I do that?"

"By remembering the good times you had together. Didn't you have good memories with her?" The ghost sighed sadly.

"Of course I did. I remember our first date and how lovely she looked in her pink dress. The first time I tried to kiss her, I ended up falling flat on my face and we shared laughs after that. Our first night together. Driving with clowns we met at the park. Eating ice cream at the parlor. Talking about what our children would look like..."

Naruto gave him a genuine smile. "You have so many memories together and you love making her happy. You'd make her even happier if you let her go instead of planning destruction in her life."

"But if I don't, she'll forget about me...she already has. She left me for that cheap sake son of a bitch!" Anger returned, his teeth clenching.

"...And I bet she cried after you died." The ghost froze, his lips trembling.

"See? She's not as heartless as you say and she certainly hadn't forgotten about you. She probably feels really bad even today. What she did was wrong and caused you great pain, but all humans make mistakes. She still cared for you after you died. Even after she cheated you, she still cared. You can't keep your all hatred for the people who have wronged you forever. It's better to leave the past behind you. "

He put a hand on the ghost to comfort him. It's better to let these things go...Derek."Naruto smiled warmly.

The ghost began to sizzle and pop. A swarm of wind surrounded it and suddenly it took the form of a man. He had brown hair and light brown eyes that were shimmering with unconcealed tears.

"H-How did you know my name..." He asked in an unsteady voice. Naruto pointed to the icing in the middle of the street.

"It was on the cake." Derek faltered.

"All this time…I forgot my own name because I was so blinded by my anger…" He looked depressed, but then broke out into a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry for the trouble I have caused you." He looked up to the sky. "I guess it really is time I leave the past behind me and continue onwards to a better life." He turned back to Naruto and outstretched his hand. "Thank you. You're an incredible kid and I am grateful for you helping me see the light in a dark path. But...if you could do one more favor for me?" He pulled out a small letter from his jacket. "Please give this to my ex. It's not dangerous or anything," he stated quickly, seeing Naruto's suspicious glare. "But it will make things a lot easier for me."

Naruto nodded. "Sure." Derek smiled before evaporating.

* * *

><p>Panty and Stocking stared, mouths hanging open as Naruto walked back to them casually holding what appeared to be a note. Panty immediately spoke.<p>

"Neh? What the hell happened?" Naruto smiled.

"The ghost won't harm us anymore. I'm just going to drop something off." He nodded to both of them and continued around the block. Sasuke leaned against a wall with his hands folded.

"Hn. Good job dobe."

Naruto looked around the neat white houses, looking for one with a blue mailbox. When he found it, he walked up to the house door and rang the doorbell politely. A young woman opened it, her hazel eyes peering curiously at the stranger before her.

"Yes?" Naruto held out the note.

"A letter for you." Her eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't get mail on Sundays."

Naruto gave her a small smile. "Consider it a message from Heaven and I'm just its messenger boy." The woman looked confused, still suspicious of the letter. She took it anyway and quietly thanked him.

Naruto bowed and departed. Gently, she closed the door and read the note. She let out a choked gasp and dropped the letter, tears running down her face.

"D-Derek?"

The note read: _**I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. Even though you have hurt me, I forgive you and I'd like you to know that I'll always love you. Have a great life with Shawn and your two kids, Helen**_

_**and James. Goodbye Jane and I hope we can start over as friends in the afterlife. Love, Derek.**_

_**P.S. Thank you for all the great memories. I'll be watching over you from above.**_

Jane broke down into heavy sobs, clutching the letter tightly and regretting all the hurt she put Derek through. Derek watched her cry from outside the window, feeling guilty but also oddly relieved that she really did care for him. He waved at the small child looking at him with blue eyes, a finger stuck in her mouth and with that ascended to Heaven.

* * *

><p>"WHAT?" Both sisters exclaimed. Four orange coins rested in Sasuke's hand. He looked at them curiously.<p>

"What are these?"

"The hell? Those are Heaven's coins! Why the fuck did they give them to you?" Panty yelled in annoyance. _'Honestly, we did all the fucking work!'_

"Because he earned them!" Panty and Stocking groaned as Garterbelt came into view. Sasuke pointed to himself in disbelief.

"Me?"

"Huh? Oh no. Not you. I meant the blonde kid. You were pretty much worthless in this battle." Sasuke cringed at his harsh words. "Nonetheless, you share the glory." Garterbelt turned to the two sisters. "You two are worth shit." They sighed with bored expressions.

"Oh spare us the lecture," they both said.

"Shut the hell up, you nasty bitches! He earned his coins because he found another way to deal with the ghost without causing it bodily harm! You two are too damn destructive and bitchy to think up a way like that!" Sasuke stared up at his big afro, secretly wondering if that afro was alive. He focused on the coins in his hands and cocked an eyebrow.

"Well what purpose do they serve?"

Garter explained, "They can help you get back home to Konoha." Sasuke's eyes widened. Panty and Stocking shared a look. 'What the hell is Konoha?'

"How the hell did you know we were lost?"

Garterbelt looked up to the sky. "Heaven told me of newcomers that would fall through the sky."

Panty and Stocking looked between the two people. _'What the hell is going on?' _Sasuke looked confused as well.

Garterbelt decided to clarify. "You must collect 50 of those coins in order for Heaven to help you. Then, they can teleport you back home."

Naruto entered at that exact time. "What's happening?" Sasuke nodded to the coins in his hands.

"Hn. We're fishing for coins it seems, dobe." Naruto cocked his head.

"What?"

"Never mind," Sasuke sighed in slight annoyance. "I'll explain later."

"YOU TWO!" Garter pointed to Panty and Shocking, who both instantly froze up. "You will help them on this mission until they collect all 50 coins. Doing this will grant you one hundred Heaven coins."

Panty and Stocking nodded their heads repeatedly, their eyes shining with excitement. _'One hundred Heaven coins! Awesome!' _

"Alright. Now that that's settled, you will come with us to the Church. LET'S GO!" Garter turned around and walked in the direction of the Church. The others followed behind.

Panty walked next to Naruto. "Neh. Not bad, dork boy." She smirked and rubbed his hair. "You did well today and I just might repay you..." She gave him a flirtatious wink and rubbed the side of her leg with his. Naruto blushed heavily, not used to being hit on by a woman. Stocking, who had been listening, instantly stepped in.

"Panty, I'm sure he doesn't want to turn into your 991th one night stand." Sasuke and Naruto's' jaws both dropped at this info.

_'SHE HAD SEX WITH 990 MEN?' _

"HELL NAH! I'M NOT GONNA BE YOUR LITTLE SEX TOY!" Naruto pointed at Panty furiously, while Panty winced at his loudness. "I'M DEFINITELY NOT GONNA CATCH ONE OF YOUR STDS!" Stocking and Panty shared another look.

_'What the hell is an STD?'_ Panty merely shrugged and broke away from the group.

"Your loss! I'm gonna go find some real men to fuck with. Tata, Stocks, emo boy, and dork boy!" All three glared at her retreating back.

_'If she calls me Stocks one more time...'_

_'For fucks sake, I'm not that emo...'_

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING DORK BOY, DAMMIT!" Naruto yelled out, a vein popping on his head. "IT'S NARUTO!" Panty shot him a raspberry and continued on her way. Stocking and Sasuke both snickered to themselves at his outburst. When realizing that they were standing next to each other (very close I might add), they stepped quickly away and gave each other a heated glare.

"Hn."

"Hmph."

Garterbelt paid no attention to the whiny teens behind him, instead lost in his thoughts. _'Something bad is going to happen...'_

He pulled out a white sheet sent from Heaven with the word "**Ninjas**" on it. 'It would appear these two are the ninjas they are talking about...but what about the other word?' He shuddered silently, feeling a sudden chill when remembering the word he had read on the paper. He had no idea why the hell the word bothered him so much.

Inside his priest clothes lay a blood red note. On the note was one word. "**Kyuubi**."

* * *

><p>Two people walked in a dark dreary hallway. One figure had a black cloak on, hiding his face. The other was a pale blue demon with cruel eyes, a smirk plastered on his face as he thought of the wickedly bad plan that would soon come into place.<p>

"Ingenious. This plan is simply ingenious! Once everything is set, the angels will be dead and nothing can stand in my way of ruling Heaven and Earth!" He cackled insanely.

The cloaked figure stopped, raising his head. Blood red eyes with no pupils looked up at the ceiling. _'And I will have something even better than that.'_ He smirked. _'Kyuubi no kitsune.'_

* * *

><p>Review if you want. No one's forcing you...<p>

...REVIEW!

Ugh yeah I edited the last chap. =-= It was pretty terrible and I found a whole bunch of mistakes. This is what happens when you use Notepad instead of MSW. And my stupid MSW is still being stupid.

Oh well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sasuke: LOL U MAD BRO? XP don't like, don't read, and don't review. You'll scare all the nice people away. :o**

**To all the rest of reviewers: Thank you for the nice comments ^^ Stocking's reaction to Sasuke hating sweets will definitely come in the next chap. Also, more dialogue between the mysterious villains. Also, as far as pairings go, I'm going to try and experiment with all of them (without it turning into some huge harem) and see who goes with who. So far, though, I'm sticking to the original**.

Enjoy. This chap is more for laughs than anything.

Disclaimer: Don't own Panty or Naruto. Unless I'm some super lost great great cousin of the creator of either and they suddenly want me to inherit their business. The chances are slim, but hey, one can dream.

* * *

><p>"Are there any questions you two would like to ask?" Garterbelt eyed the suspiciously dressed men wearily. Perhaps he had been wrong about these two being ninja. They didn't seem to be able to do any awesome techniques and they didn't look like ninja's to him. <em>'Hell, where the fuck are their black ninja attire?'<em>

They had made it back to the Church and Garterbelt was giving them info on their temporary home stay.

Naruto and Sasuke could only stare at the afro man. He was tall and black, an indifferent expression plastered on his face. But that was not what interested them the most. He had a humongous black afro that ascended over them. It stood proudly on his head like a glorified trophy. Panty and Stocking sat next to them on the couch, watching their expressions with a snort. Sasuke was the first to awaken from his stupor and decided to ask a question that was beginning to get on his nerves.

"Yes, we do. Where exactly is Daten City?" He asked curiously. Now that he thought about it, he had never heard of such a city called Daten City before in his lifetime. Was it new? Perhaps a long lost city located near at least one of the villages?

Garterbelt replied, "It is on the borderline of Heaven and Hell." Sasuke could feel a sweat drop coming on. _'Shit. Is this place even located on Earth?'_

"Hn...does it happen to be anywhere near Konoha?" He silently prayed in his head that Danten City was.

Panty answered this time. "Where the fuck is Konoha? Look, if it's not anywhere near Heaven or Hell, then it's probably miles and miles away," she sneered while fixing her nails. Sasuke sighed.

"That's what I was afraid of..."

Naruto paid no attention to the conversation and instead looked around in bewilderment at all the technological stuff. He had seen many TVs and microwaves before, but he couldn't say he'd seen a car ever before in his life. Panty and Stocking's See Through for instance. It would seem it was used to transport people from one place to another. He observed the wheel thingie in front of one of the seats and a radio that was weirdly installed in the car. _'How is it able to drive on its own?' _He wondered. A grumble escaped from his stomach. He immediately bent down to hide the large gurgle.

'I'm hungry.' He sighed grumpily. 'When is this conversation going to be over? What the hell are we even talking about?' He turned to his right to ask Stocking.

"What's going on so far?" Stocking gave him a quick glance before indulging in more sweets. She shrugged, not really giving a damn.

"Locations, being lost in cities, and questions." Naruto snickered at this comment.

"Sounds like our trips with our sensei back at Konoha whenever we go out on a mission." Stocking smirked. Panty rolled her eyes.

"Typical that you don't listen when people talk," she remarked. Silence was her answer. She turned to glare at him only to find him off in lala land and drooling over God knows what. Sasuke had caught bits and pieces of this unusual talk, but he was more focused on the information they were given and formulating it into a speech. _'Like a mission report,'_ he thought with slight amusement.

Sasuke flexed and got up. "Okay then. Let me see if I can get all the details. We are in Danten City, a city located between Heaven and Hell." He pointed to Panty and Stocking with his thumb. "Your names are Panty and Stocking, which I might add are very uncommon and provocative names from where I come from." Both girls glared at him. "You're both sisters and angels and your jobs are to eliminate ghosts pretty much. Naruto and my job is to eliminate ghosts as well and in return we get 50 coins and get to go home. You two will accompany us and your rewards are 100 coins." They nodded.

He pointed to Garterbelt. "You are an immortal afro haired man and you monitor all of us to make sure we do our job." Garterbelt did not say anything. "...I'll take that as a yes. And you..."

Sasuke pointed to Chuck. "You are their messenger box and somewhat pet." Chuck merely pooted and began to snicker hysterically.

Both Panty and Stocking groaned and began to beat the crap out of the poor green zippered dog. Sasuke stuffed his hands in his pockets, glad that everything was pretty much sorted out. Everything, except...

"Hn. Alright. Since that is all figured out, where will we be sleeping?"

"Outside." Stocking instantly declared. She smirked at him, feeling his hatred for her seep from his eyes.

"In a box." Panty replied nonchalantly. Sasuke raised a brow at the two sisters. _'Such a happy bunch.' _He thought sarcastically.

Garterbelt suddenly snapped at them. "SHUT UP BITCHES! WE WILL NOT TREAT OUR GUESTS UNKINDLY!" Panty and Stocking gave no indication that they had heard and instead closed their eyes, slightly bored. Garterbelt turned his attention back to Sasuke. "You will be sleeping in Stocking's room and Naruto will sleep in the living room." Sasuke slowly turned to the now seething blue haired goth.

"Hell no! I refuse to bunk with this ass whole. I will be sleeping in the bathroom." She smirked smugly at everyone. Everyone else just stared blankly at her. Suddenly, she realized what she had just said.

"Wait! No! You!" She pointed to Sasuke. "You will be sleeping in the bathroom." Sasuke glared.

"The hell I am. A good rest requires a good bed. Something I'm sure a couch will not provide."

"I don't give a damn about your good rest. I don't want you in my room."

Sasuke smirked evilly. "Why? Is there something you're hiding in there?"

"No. I just don't like bastards in my room who will try to molest me." She popped a gummy worm into her mouth. "I don't like molesters." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"And I don't like girls who call me a molester."

"I don't like you period."

"What does your period have to do with anything?" Sasuke moved slowly away from her as if afraid he'd catch "The Period."

Stocking face palmed. "Absolutely nothing, you emo hard of hearing bastard son of a bitch prick!" Panty whistled at her long cuss word appreciatively while Sasuke's eye twitched.

"You're lucky I can't hit girls..."

Stocking replied back. "You're lucky I don't give a fuck because if you did hit me, I'd chop your balls off and send them to your mother." Sasuke's eyes were slowly turning red."You wanna die bitch?"

Stocking was getting a crazed look in her eye. "Come at me bro," she gestured to him, glaring with a predatory growl escaping her throat.

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Panty and Garterbelt said at the same time. They looked at each other strangely.

"Afro freak, don't ever copy me," Panty huffed, a pout on her lips.

"Bitch, don't try to steal my swag." He fixed his afro. "Okay, fine. New arrangements. Sasuke gets the couch and Naruto sleeps in Stocking's room. Are there any complains to that?"

Although with a rather calm expression on the outside, inside he was secretly challenging them. _'Bitches, I dare ya to say something.'_ To his surprise, they all just shrugged.

Stocking smacked on a snickerdoodle. "I have no problem with the dumb blonde over there. It's Grumpy over here." she pointed to Sasuke who glared at the finger as if he wanted to bite it off.

"He really annoys me."

"Hn. I feel your welcoming embrace." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Bite me jackass."

"Don't start again." Panty sighed in exasperation. Sasuke suddenly turned to her.

"Just out of curiosity, how come none of us were volunteered to bunk with you?" All three people laughed.

"If only you knew..." Garterbelt shuddered, rubbing his arms protectively.

"Eventually he'll find out," Both angels said with a rather demonic grin on their faces. Sasuke could feel a sudden chill take over the room.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Naruto yelled. Everyone in the room jumped at the sound of the hyper blonde.

"I'm starved! Ramen has been on my brain for the last half hour! You guys got any ramen?" He moved from the couch to look up hopefully at Garterbelt.

"...Go in the fucking kitchen and see for yourself..." Garterbelt answered, rubbing his temples. Naruto whooped and sped off towards the kitchen leaving everyone behind. They stared at him.

Suddenly Sasuke realized something. _'Did that dobe listen to a word of this whole conversation?' _He felt a vein popping on his forehead. "I hope that damned idiot knows the sleeping arrangements at least."

Panty laughed bitterly. "Che. Probably not. I'm glad that he wasn't volunteered for my room. Like hell that little demon was sleeping with me." Stocking just shrugged and trudged up the stairs to her room.

Sasuke flinched at the word "demon." _'Shit...I forgot. If they're angels, surely they don't tend to get along with demons.' _He thought worriedly. _'What they don't know won't hurt them though. So I won't mention anything to them about Naruto being a vessel to Kyuubi.'_

Garterbelt yawned loudly and walked away from them all to go to bed. "I'll be heading upstairs now. Try not to kill each other. Oh, and don't wake me up or I'll make sure to make your life a living hell when I get up." With that, he disappeared from sight. Panty looked back at Sasuke and then gave him a flirty smile. She lifted her red dress up, showing off her creamy thighs.

"You know, you're not too bad looking. Wanna go create some fireworks to spark our acquaintanship?" She moved closer to him and stroked his arm provocatively. Sasuke gave her a blank stare.

"...No."

Panty pouted. "Oh come on. Don't act like you've never fucked with a foxy lady like me." Sasuke looked down and clenched his fists. Now Panty looked at him weirdly.

"...Are you serious?"

"..."

"...You've never...fucked?"

"..."

"...Are you a eunuch...?"

Sasuke sighed and looked up at her in slight repulsiveness. "Look, I'm not a eunuch and before you go making assumptions, I'm not gay. Believe me when I say I could have sex with any girl I want but unlike you, I don't need sex to satisfy my life and I certainly don't need to develop an unhealthy obsession with it. It's not a matter of love or status, it's a matter of restraint and how I can handle myself. When I want to do it with someone, I'll fucking do it."

Panty winked. "Wanna do it right now?"

"...No," he replied with a bored face. _'She'll never learn.' _Panty raised her arms in defeat.

"Whatever. I'm going to the kitchen to eat something real quick before I get some beauty sleep." She passed him a wink. "Night!" Sasuke watched her leave his sight. He gave a grunt of irritation and lifted up his cap to run a hand through his ebony locks and wiped at his glasses to get rid of a smudge.

"Damn women."

* * *

><p>"Food, food, food. How I love my food." Naruto sung loudly to himself as he prepared to dig in to his first cup of ramen. He looked into the liquid broth filled with delicious noodles with adoring eyes. Lifting it to his cheek, he rubbed it gingerly along his face, cooing and giggling. Panty had decided to walk in at the wrong time. She looked upon the act with amusement.<p>

"Jesus, you act fatter than me," She said jokingly. Naruto stopped his actions to glare at her. _'Dammnit. It's the blonde angel.'_

"Language, miss precious," He cooed dangerously. "God wouldn't appreciate such vile words."

"Fuck off." She reached for an already made cup of ramen and sat across from him. Naruto watched in awe as she poured bottles and bottles of hot sauce into the tiny cup, her eyes shining with excitement. _'She'll be breathing fire like a dragon by the time she's done with that,'_ he thought with horror. She paid no attention to him and ate with relish, the noodles sloppily spraying on the table.

Naruto cocked his head at her behavior. _'Her eating habits are almost as bad as mine.'_

"So, why are you and your secret gay boyfriend so far from home?" Naruto clenched his fist in anger.

"He's not my damn boyfriend! We're friends! ...And I actually have no idea how we got here in the first place. Though I think it's all the damned scarecrow's fault. He starts this weird jutsu thing and then poof! We end up here." He pondered it for a moment. _'In fact, if I'm not mistaken, it was said in a whole other language…'_

Panty cocked an eyebrow, not understanding a word of what he told her."...What the fuck?"

Naruto sighed. "Nevermind." Panty merely shrugged and continued eating. She asked, "Where are your parents? They're probably wondering where their dorky son is." Naruto stiffened and looked into his ramen with a sudden uninterested expression.

"...I don't have any parents."

Panty shrugged nonchalantly. "What, they die or something?"

"...I don't know. I never knew them..."

Panty paused in her eating for a split second. "Oh...well whatever. Good for you then, neh? More freedom." She gave him a sly wink. Naruto looked up to give her a cold glare.

"No. Not good. In fact it's fucking terrible." Panty couldn't really sympathize with him so merely let it drop. Silence fell over the room for a while, except for her occasional slurping sounds.

"...Sorry." Panty looked up in surprise to give him a confused look.

"I didn't mean to give you the cold shoulder. It's just a touchy subject for me," he explained. Panty smirked.

"Whatever. I take no offense from dorks." Naruto pouted.

"Meanie."

"Dork."

"Bitch."

"Dumbass."

"Banana hair!"

"Fucker!"

"Potty mouth!"

"Lame comebacker!"

"BLONDIE!"

Panty gave a genuine laugh. "We're both blonde's idiot." Naruto realized his mistake and began to stammer sheepishly. Panty waved him off and downed the rest of her noodles.

"Looks like I won this round." She yawned and began to get up. Naruto gave her a mischievous grin, swishing his noodles around in his cup with a twinkle in his eye.

"And just how many rounds should we go up to until you finally see that I'm the REAL winner?" Panty slowly turned around and cocked an eyebrow.

She gave him a dangerous smirk. "Is that a challenge I hear, Naruto fucking Uzumaki of some shit place called Konoha?" Naruto grinned wider.

"The ultimate number of cups of spicy hot ramen we can handle until fire comes out of our mouth?" Sparks flew from their eyes until it turned into full blown electricity. They raised their cups.

"You're on," they said at the same time.

* * *

><p>"Never again," Naruto mumbled. "I'm never eating spicy ramen with Panty ever again." He groaned as a wave of nausea and flames hit him. He slowly trudged up the stairs and walked in quietly to Stocking's room. He was immediately met with darkness, not a light source to be found. He closed the door and crawled on the ground to find his bed. Because it was so dark, he failed to see the drawer in front of his head.<p>

"OW!" He cursed while rubbing his head. A bruise was sure to form. Mumbling about 'evil furniture' and 'dynamite ramen', he finally found his sleeping spot. He sighed as he landed heavily on the soft mattress and buried his head into the lavender pillows. He pulled off his hoodie and shirt, exposing his tan chest and took off his pants to reveal his ramen boxers. He nestled down into sleep, slightly sad that he didn't have his sleeping cap or his regular pajamas along with him.

"...Stop stripping and take your clothes back, you damn baka. I don't like sleeping with men's pants laying over my eyes thank you very much."

Naruto yelped at the unexpected voice that belonged to Stocking and jumped out of the bed. "GAH! WHAT T-THE HELL?" Stocking yawned tiredly and took his clothes off her head.

"Unfortunately, we don't have another bed so you'll just have to sleep next to me. Keep on your side of the bed, and I won't have to cut your penis off for interrupting my sleep." With that, she scooted over and went back to Dream Land. Naruto stared at her in shock before realizing her message. He instantly panicked.

_'Shit, shit, shit!'_ He thought frantically. _'I always toss and turn while I sleep! What to do, what to do, what to do!'_ He shuffled worriedly around her room, thinking of an alternative but finding nothing. "Fine," he whispered softly to himself. "I'll try it out. Besides, she can't really cut it off. I'm a ninja!" He shifted into the bed and gently lifted the blanket over his chin before drifting off into sleep.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was lying comfortably on the couch reading a book. He blinked away the tiredness from his eyes to finish a rather interesting chapter. Finally unable to take it, he set the book down on the ground and turned off the small lamp next to him. He lay down to go to sleep and closed his eyes, feeling unconsciousness fall over him.

_Squeak, squeak, squeak._

His eyes flew open, eyebrows furrowing at the rather annoying sound.

_Squeak, squeak, squeak._

He groaned and lifted a little to detect the sound. _'Is it a mouse? Someone walking up the stairs?'_ He narrowed his eyes and instinctively reached for his kunai knife located on the side of his shoe.

_Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak_. The noise was getting...faster.

Sasuke blanched at the now detected sound. "Bed springs?"

"Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh..." A loud and lust filled moan escaped from one of the walls. Groans. Panting. More moaning. Flesh hitting flesh...

Sasuke's face turned crimson. _'Oh god. Please no. How unsanitary. How embarrassing. She has guests!' _A loud moan and licking sounds filled the room. His face turned pale. He launched himself at his pillow and covered his ears with it. "No, no, no, no, no!" He whispered angrily. "Find my happy place, a place called Happy, in a happy land filled with happy people-"

"OH GOD! YES! RIGHT THERE BABY! THAT'S THE SPOT!" Panty cried out in a heat of passion.

"OH FUCK PANTY! YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY!" Said some random guy.

_'NO!'_ Sasuke mentally screamed. _'Don't contaminate __**MY **__happy place!' _He dove deeper into the pillows, silently yelling in agony at the disturbing noises coming from the other room next to him.

"YES!"

"NO!" Sasuke yelled.

"FUCK YEAH!"

"No!"

"RIGHT THERE!"

"Not right there!"

"I'M GOING TO CUM!"

"Hold it in!"

"I'M CUMMING NOW!"

"Goddamnit, I said hold it!"

"OH!"

"No!"

"OH OH OH!"

"No no no!"

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

Sasuke pounded his fist on the wall. "Don't you fucking do-"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

Sasuke's scream of terror was heard in the nighttime air.

* * *

><p><em>The next day...<em>

Naruto opened his eyes slowly, blinking at the unexpected light coming from the window. He turned his head in fear, seeing he was closer to Stocking then when he had fallen asleep. He thanked the Gods that she was still asleep and had not noticed. He slid out of the bed silently and tiptoed to the bathroom. Closing and locking the door, he let out a sigh of relief and got a towel to get ready for his shower. Quickly turning the hot water on, he savored the warm liquid and felt his tense muscles relax. After about ten minutes, Naruto got out and dried his hair. Looking in the mirror he looked the same as he did back in Konoha. Spiky blonde hair sticking out in random places and bangs falling gently over his face. Warm cerulean eyes that showed slight excitement at exploring a whole different world. And a wide lopsided welcoming grin to perfect his boyish charm. Rolling his eyes at his sappy moment, he regretfully reached for the jar of gel and put some over his hair. The effects were instantaneous as his hair was now stiff and sitting tightly over his head with some locks concealing his eyes. He changed back into his hoodie and pants from yesterday and brushed his teeth. Heading for the door, he realized that he forgot his glasses.

_'Shit.'_

He rushed for the door, only for it to fly open and hit him in the face. He yelled out in pain and held his bruised nose.

"OI! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT...all...about..." He gulped at the blue haired teen in front of him. Stocking was up, her eyes slanted like a feral cat, If that wasn't scary enough, she held up one of her large katanas.

"Last night I specifically asked for you to stay on your side of the bed and don't cause a ruckus..." She whispered. Naruto backed away slowly. She walked in.

"You did not follow my orders. It is time for your punishment." The door closed behind her, leaving the two inside the bathroom.

Silence.

"STOCKING SLASH OF DOOM!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

><p>Lol more of a filler chappie but whatevs. Enjoy. ^^ Just tryin to add more pazzam to their blossoming...acquaintanship.<p>

Sorry for the late update. I'm in school right now so it's hard for me to keep up. I'm still having writer's block for my other stories, but hopefully something will come back. ^^"'''

Review please.


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